well, today is my 25th birthday and i am more stressed than i have been in a long time. i realized it this morning when i couldn't drag my butt out of bed. i just wanted to lay there with my cat and sleep the day away. my real fault is that i am looking ahead two weeks or so and seeing everything that has to be done and not focusing on what i have to do today and tomorrow. most of my stress lies in my music. it's not music itself but the three concerts, a master class, and a recital that are all in the very near future. i'm not ready for the solo performances, but i have a until the 15th to get it ready. by then i have to have the pieces memorized. to do this, one has to be really secure in the notes (obviously). the up side of memorization like this is once i have it memorized, it becomes much easier to add the other character elements because i'm not so focused on the notes themselves. the concerts add to the stress because it takes away from my practicing time and they are all far away from my house. one of the sites is probably an hour away from my house. there is a dress rehearsal tonight there and it is scheduled to get over at 10:00, which puts me home at 11:00 if i'm lucky.

i haven't been very motivated at work lately either. i've been doing the same exact thing day in and day out. as with many of my assays, there is a lot of down time that i have to fill with something. the trick is to look like i am working during the times when i have nothing at work to do. i am undersitmulated and bored.

on the flip side, i leave for tennessee in three weeks. it will be about the most fun one can have while working your butt off. the colorado delegation gets in trouble because we hang out in a large group and aren't very social to people who aren't from colorado. we can't help that we like our own company!

i must now return to the assay that i have done way too many times to count.